ephemer.us
 

Sean Fitzroy's blog of Internet awesomeness.

ephemerus |iˈfem(ə)rəs|
existing for only a day, daily Late Latin, derived from the Greek ephemeros, ἐφήμερος (for a day ('ephemeral'); diurnal)



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Microsoft announced that the touchscreen Zune HD will ship this fall. My predictions: Release date one week before Thanksgiving $20 lower price then the iPod Touch which will appeal to shoppers who would prefer to spend that $20 on two extra FLYING GORILLA’s™ at the Cheesecake Factory after leaving Best Buy Slightly faster processor than the iPod Touch which, while having with no real-world significance, will appeal to low-end computer techs who keep their A+ certification framed in their mom’s living room 4 big ol screws in the aluminum back which will appeal to consumers who also find the Chevy Malibu aesthetically pleasing Craptasic icons which will appeal to mid-level managers who think it’s okay to use Comic Sans for internal communications Touch interface that generally works better than the Storm but not as well as the iPod/iPhone and has a major flaw that get fixed about 3 months after launch Half-assed port of Direct X and several announced-but-not-available launch titles HD dock that will have compatibility problems with some HDCP TVs Browser that will be better than the Blackberry’s and worse than Mobile Safari Whacky Zune LIVE Plays-for-Sure App store that will be very developer-friendly, very consumer-unfriendly, and won’t fully launch until February 2010 Developer program for aforementioned App store with no annual fee resulting in “more consumer choice” with regard to fart apps

Microsoft announced that the touchscreen Zune HD will ship this fall.

My predictions:

  • Release date one week before Thanksgiving
  • $20 lower price then the iPod Touch which will appeal to shoppers who would prefer to spend that $20 on two extra FLYING GORILLA’s™ at the Cheesecake Factory after leaving Best Buy
  • Slightly faster processor than the iPod Touch which, while having with no real-world significance, will appeal to low-end computer techs who keep their A+ certification framed in their mom’s living room
  • 4 big ol screws in the aluminum back which will appeal to consumers who also find the Chevy Malibu aesthetically pleasing
  • Craptasic icons which will appeal to mid-level managers who think it’s okay to use Comic Sans for internal communications
  • Touch interface that generally works better than the Storm but not as well as the iPod/iPhone and has a major flaw that get fixed about 3 months after launch
  • Half-assed port of Direct X and several announced-but-not-available launch titles
  • HD dock that will have compatibility problems with some HDCP TVs
  • Browser that will be better than the Blackberry’s and worse than Mobile Safari
  • Whacky Zune LIVE Plays-for-Sure App store that will be very developer-friendly, very consumer-unfriendly, and won’t fully launch until February 2010
  • Developer program for aforementioned App store with no annual fee resulting in “more consumer choice” with regard to fart apps


Tags: ZunesuckMicrosoftmobile

May 27, 2009, 11:19am  Comments and Permalink